The Generations

This weekend, I took Toby to visit his great-grandparents, and I was struck by the joy they brought each other. There is an 87-year gap between my child and my grandfather, who suffers from short-term memory loss. He may never remember who Toby is, or the relation he shares with him, but the joy on his face was as great as my son's as Toby "walked" him all around the house. I don't know how many more moments like this the two will share--I hope there will be many--but I will always remember the bond they shared this one day, if only for a few hours. I love you, Grandpa.

One Year Ago

One year ago you came to me
And the world was suddenly as it should be.

One year ago we snuggled while
I gazed down at you and saw your first smile.

One year ago I heard your cry
And my heart was breaking for you inside.

One year ago you alternated between rest
And latching on to eat a meal from my breast.

One year ago I became your mother;
It seems as though we were made for each other.

One year ago you became my son.
You’re such a joy, and today you turn one.

Wherever life takes us, remember what’s true:
You’ll be my baby forever, and I’ll always love you.

~Happy Birthday, Toby!

Car Wash Madness

A couple of months ago I drove through the car wash because I thought Toby would love it (okay, the real reason is the car was filthy). As soon as the garage door closed behind us, however, Toby panicked. My normally carefree baby screamed through the entire wash, and took awhile to calm down even after it was all over. Since then my husband has washed the car while I had Toby at home. With Dan gone for awhile with work, I decided to try the car wash again yesterday...yep, he's still scared! Toby does, however, LOVE bathtime. Here's a pic I took of him the other day.

Books around the House

As someone who loves to read and who cringes at the thought of writing in my books (even books with journaling space), I have a hard time with the situation in this picture. Toby thinks it is quite a fun game to take books off the bookshelf and throw them on the floor. Every day I put them back on the bookshelf, only to find them on the floor again a little while later. I know I need to teach him the value of books and how we need to treat them with respect, but this activity also keeps him entertained while I am trying to get some work done. I realized today, though, that things have gone too far--throwing books on the floor is no longer enough pleasure for Toby. He is now throwing books down the stairs!

Bowling for Jesus

Tonight I went bowling with a group of about 30 girls (and one guy). I have never been great at this sport, although I do enjoy an occasional trip to the bowling alley. Since I don't bowl often, I rented the shoes, and I used one of the bowling alley's many neon-colored balls. When my first turn came, I grabbed my ball, took my starting position, and rolled the ball down the lane. However, I twisted my wrist as I let go of the ball, and my ball did not go where I intended. Instead of getting a strike, I knocked down only two pins. Although I was on target for part of the game, there were many frames where I twisted my wrist, and the ball went off course. I finished the game with 93 points (out of a possible 300). Several people did much better than I, but nobody had a perfect score at the end of the night.

Reflecting on this, I realize that my Christian faith can be much like a game of bowling. Like the neon ball, I sometimes feel like I'm in the spotlight as a Christian--people are always watching to see if I live the way I talk. I can be heading straight towards my target (Jesus) for awhile, but I often twist suddenly and find myself heading toward another direction--towards destruction. If I lean on Jesus, he will keep my path straight, but I often get distracted. Yes, I love Jesus and I live for Him, but when it is all said and done, nobody has a perfect score--nobody but Jesus.

Thank you, Lord, for your mercy and grace where I falter and fail.

Sleep, Little One

My house is quiet, minus the soft sound of breathing making its way through the baby monitor. As I listen to my son sleeping, I wonder, will this be another night of peaceful sleep? At 12 months old, Toby still wakes up at night to nurse. While I enjoy this bonding time with him, my sleep cycle is interrupted, and I find that I am chronically tired. Last night, however, my baby slept through the night. Do I dare wish for two nights in a row of uninterrupted rest? I'm not counting on it, but it sure would be heavenly!

This pic was taken a couple of months ago, but isn't it sweet? My beautiful son and amazing husband!

Troble with Trojans

Shortly after posting a new entry to my blog last night, I checked back and grew excited. I had my first comment! I clicked to view the comment, and then clicked again on the comment itself, and then I was in for a long and scary night. After clicking on the comment, a warning came on my screen, which looked like it was from Windows, saying I had a virus on my computer and I should use their free software to delete it. Well, I was pretty much freaking out about having a virus on my computer, so I clicked on the link, which was named "XP Antivirus Protection." As it turned out, that was the actual virus.

Thankfully, my computer's antivirus software detected it immediately; however, it took nearly an hour before I was able to delete it from my computer--it had actually downloaded seven Trojan horses onto my computer. I guess my first clue that the link was a virus should have been the name "XP"--I don't even have Windows XP on my computer! I was up for a few hours last night scanning my computer several times and worrying about what information they were able to get from me, and I spent the better part of today changing all of my passwords.

Learn from my mistake--if you get a pop-up that says you have a virus, do not click on the link (especially if it's from XP Antivirus Protection)! Instead, use the anti-virus software you already subscribe to and determine whether or not you have a virus.

Toby

Here is a picture of my beautiful baby boy. My pride and joy is turning 1 this month, and I cannot believe how fast he is growing up! I read a book recently that talked about how from the beginning of her son's life, a mother has to learn to get used to letting go of him. My eyes tear up just to think about letting him go! I cherish my time with him--God has, for now, blessed me with him, and I don't want to take one moment for granted.

Writer's thoughts

So why does a Mass Comm. major, who has always loved to write and intends to persue a career in writing/editing, shy away from writing on her blog more than once every four months? I'd like to use the excuse that I don't have enough time; after all, I am a mother of a very busy infan-becoming-toddler, and it's hard enough just to raise him and keep the house looking halfways clean. Then I realize I can't use that excuse, as I spend a couple hours online every day, doing absolutely nothing productive.

If I'm honest with myself, the whole idea of publishing online is a little intimidating. Yes, I've always loved to write, and yes, I am confident in my writing skills, but I am not used to sharing my work so openly. It was different when I worked as a reporter; I had assignments then, with specific things to write about--none of which were personal reflection stories. In many ways, writing on this blog is like writing in a diary--only now, my reflections are open to the masses. Please be patient with me as I work up the courage to post on here more often.